Advice to New Parents – From a Pediatrician
Congratulations! Welcome to the world of parenthood, where much is to be discovered—both about yourself and your new little one. While I can’t promise smooth sailing, I can say that it will be the most unforgettable ride you’ll ever take.
Here are my top 10 tips to survive the first year of parenthood:
Expect tiredness
Sleep for you, as the parent, becomes a precious commodity once baby arrives. This is why we always say, “Sleep when your baby sleeps!” In the first few months of life, it’s common for babies to wake up at least 2 to 3 times a night to feed. By 4 to 5 months, some babies may be able to go a 5 to 6 hour stretch at night, but until then, expect to be perpetually tired!
Learn more about infant sleep patterns here.
Coffee is okay while breastfeeding
Good news: it’s ok to stay sane with some coffee as a new parent! While it’s best to limit it to a cup or two of caffeinated coffee per day, you aren’t stuck with decaf only.
Find out more about what’s safe while breastfeeding.
Enjoy the present
You’ll find that “the most consistent thing about a baby is their inconsistency.” Learn to take it day by day, as your baby will continue to change and develop. Try to enjoy each stage because your baby won’t be the same age tomorrow. I promise, one day you’ll truly miss this!
I know it’s been said before, but I’ll say it again: “Treasure each moment – for the days are long, but the years are short.”
Give children’s acetaminophen for fevers less than 6 months old
Some babies develop a fever after receiving their vaccines. If this happens, it’s ok to give children’s acetaminophen (be sure to follow the directions on the package), but avoid children’s ibuprofen until after 6 months of age.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help
This is the time to reach out. There’s only one of you, and your baby has needs around the clock. Find trusted help to carry the load. Delegate others to get groceries, care for your baby while you rest, and handle other household tasks.
Take moments for yourself
There will be times when your baby will cry and cry; you try rocking her, holding her, and feeding her, but to no avail. Someone even deemed one of these maddening stages the Period of Purple Crying!
New parents might struggle to take a break when their baby is crying, but I want to give you permission to step back when you need to. This is important not just for you, but for your baby as well; they need you rested and supported, too.
Take unsolicited advice with a grain of salt
It might be your mother who says, “Give the baby some water!” or a stranger who comments about the way you’re dressing your baby out in the cold. Either way, you get to choose whether it’s worth considering or simply letting it go. If you want to research it further, you can always check out these credible
Find your people
This can be your family, your friends, or your neighbors. It’s wonderful to have a group that supports you, celebrates your wins, and walks with you through the challenges.
Trust your instincts
While I don’t wish this on anyone, the reality is that your baby will get sick. When it happens, trust your instinct. Don’t second-guess yourself and fear that you’ll be “that parent” seeking help for every little concern. We’re here as pediatricians to support you, and the happiest visits are the ones when we can reassure you that your baby is well!
You are good enough!
A common theme you may feel throughout your parenting journey is, “Am I doing it right?” or, “Do I have what it takes to be a good parent?” Let me remind you that you DO. There will always be someone you know who seems to have it all together, whose baby sleeps through the night at 3 months, or whose breast milk supply never runs dry. Don’t let comparison steal your joy. You are good enough.
A final word:
There will be stages that challenge you: the newborn period that leaves you perpetually exhausted, or the sleep regression that shows up just when you finally started to get at least 5 hours overnight. I call these “seasons of parenthood.” And just like for every season, there is a beginning and an end. Those seemingly endless rough nights will eventually come to a close, and your baby won’t always be clinging to you for every want and need. There will be an end. And there will be a beginning to a new season of growing and learning with your child. So, circle back to Tip #2 and enjoy every moment: the good and the not-so-good!
Featured Author
Elaine Yang, MD, MBA, is a pediatrician at Kaiser Permanente’s Garden Grove Medical Center in Southern California who thought she knew everything there needed to know about kids—until she had her very own. In many ways, she found being a parent to two rambunctious kids was harder than being a pediatrician! From then on, she had a newfound appreciation and respect for all her patients’ parents struggling to raise their children. She believes that there is no one way to parent; rather, there are many good ways to raise healthy, thriving children. Dr. Yang’s full biography can be found on her webpage. Disclaimer: If you have an emergency medical condition, call 911 or go to the nearest hospital. An emergency medical condition is any of the following: (1) a medical condition that manifests itself by acute symptoms of sufficient severity (including severe pain) such that you could reasonably expect the absence of immediate medical attention to result in serious jeopardy to your health or body functions or organs; (2) active labor when there isn't enough time for safe transfer to a Plan hospital (or designated hospital) before delivery, or if transfer poses a threat to your (or your unborn child's) health and safety, or (3) a mental disorder that manifests itself by acute symptoms of sufficient severity such that either you are an immediate danger to yourself or others, or you are not immediately able to provide for, or use, food, shelter, or clothing, due to the mental disorder. This information is not intended to diagnose health problems or to take the place of specific medical advice or care you receive from your physician or other health care professional. If you have persistent health problems, or if you have additional questions, please consult with your doctor. If you have questions or need more information about your medication, please speak to your pharmacist. Kaiser Permanente does not endorse the medications or products mentioned. Any trade names listed are for easy identification only.