Parenting Advice From Your Physicians at Kaiser Permanente

What’s the best part of a visit to the pediatrician? The stickers, of course! We use them to make our office feel more fun and less scary – and often, to help our little patients be brave. Sometimes, when a child is refusing to take medicine, I even send them home with an envelope of stickers so they can get one for every dose they take.

Stickers are magical for motivating kids! You can also use stickers to create reward charts at home to help your kids learn new behaviors. With a sticker chart, your child gets a sticker each day for completing the task you’ve chosen – such as getting dressed on time or staying in their bed at night – and then a small reward after they’ve earned a certain number of stickers.

Some worry that reward charts focus too much on external rewards and won’t help kids develop internal motivation. While this concern is understandable, when used thoughtfully, sticker charts can foster internal motivation, too. A sticker chart is most effective at encouraging small behavior changes over a short period.

Follow these 9 tips to make your sticker reward chart a success!

1.     Involve your child in the process

Engage your child in every step of creating the chart. Start by having a calm conversation about the behavior you’re working on—separate from when it happens.

For example, if bedtime is a struggle, in the morning or afternoon you might say: “I’ve noticed that bedtime has been tough lately, and you get upset when I ask you to put on your pajamas.” Then, discuss why this behavior needs to change and what benefits it might bring.

Ask questions like: “What would make bedtime easier for you?” or suggest a positive outcome: “If we don’t waste time fussing, we’ll have more time to read books together.”

When kids understand why you’re asking them to change a behavior and what’s in it for them, they’ll be more motivated to follow through. Plus, conversations like this may help you understand why your child is acting the way they do. Sometimes that understanding can help you find solutions that help them behave better.

2.     Be specific about what earns a sticker

Kids are great negotiators, so it’s essential to clearly define how to earn a sticker from the start. Without a clear plan, they may try to tweak the rules to their advantage along the way!

When setting up the sticker chart, make sure your child knows exactly what you want them to do. Be very specific. The behavior should be simple, achievable in a few steps, and easy to observe.

Instead of saying, “If you’re good at bedtime, you’ll get a sticker,” try, “Each night, when I say it’s bedtime, and you put on your pajamas right away without reminders, you get a sticker!” This way the criteria for success is clear and easy to follow.

As your child masters the first task, you can gradually add more layers. For example, the next version of the chart might include brushing teeth, putting on pajamas, and getting into bed without reminders.

By being specific, you set your child up for success and make the process smoother for everyone.

3.     Make the chart together

Now for the fun part—creating the chart! Kids love stickers, and parents appreciate having a clear way to track progress. Work together to design a chart that is exciting for your child.

You can print a ready-made chart, but it’s even more engaging if you personalize it. Try drawing a picture of the reward or something your child loves. For example, my son was really into airplanes, so we drew one and used the windows as sticker spots. If your child enjoys coloring, you can skip the stickers and let them color in each space as they complete the behavior.

4.     Choose the reward

While watching their sticker chart fill up is exciting, many kids stay even more motivated when there’s a small prize at the end. The reward doesn’t have to be a toy or treat—it can be one-on-one time with you.

Here are some fun ideas:

• Walk to the park together
• Trip to an ice cream store
• Go to a local bookstore or library to choose a new book
• Movie night, when they choose the movie
• Board game of their choice with you
• Build a fort together in the living room

Try making the rewards logical – like logical consequences turned around to logical benefits. Here are some examples of behaviors and rewards:

• For setting the table when asked for six nights – choose dinner the next night.
• Packing their school backpack without reminders for four days – get a fun new pencil or notebook.
• Filling up a sticker chart for keeping their room clean – choose a new small decoration for their room.
• Say “please” or “thank you” 10 times without being reminded – have a fun “manners tea party” or special lunch with a parent.
• Getting dressed without help for a week – a new pair of socks.

5.     Keep the goal achievable

Don’t make the wait too long! When I first made an airplane sticker chart with 20 windows, my son lost interest before getting to the prize. I shortened it to 6 windows the next time, which worked much better.

When my daughter and I made her first sticker chart, I planned ahead. We drew a house with four windows and a door for her to place stickers in, keeping it short and exciting so she stayed motivated.

6.     Celebrate success!

Praise the behavior you want to encourage as soon as it happens! If your goal is for your child to have their shoes on by the time you need to leave for school, celebrate their success immediately.

Add the sticker to their chart, making it a big, happy event. Share their achievement with others—tell their other parent, grandparents, or siblings to reinforce the excitement.

Most importantly, focus on praising the behavior, not just the sticker. Instead of saying, “Great job earning a sticker!” try, “Guess why Cami is so proud of herself today? She put her shoes on right after breakfast!” This helps them take pride in their accomplishments.

7.     Keep it positive

Sticker charts should focus on progress, not punishment. Never remove stickers – this shifts the chart from a positive tool to a punitive one. Instead of saying, “You didn’t put on your pajamas, so we’re taking off a sticker,” simply move forward and encourage them to try again next time.

If you’re tracking a daily behavior, don’t leave blank spaces on the chart when they miss a day. Instead, just add a sticker the next time they succeed. This keeps the focus on what they’re accomplishing rather than what they missed.

Sticker charts work best to encourage positive behaviors. To correct negative behavior (hitting, biting, temper tantrums, etc.), try using other techniques like time-out.

8.     Encourage internal motivation

The ultimate goal isn’t just to get kids to behave well for rewards – it’s to help them develop internal motivation. Ideally, they’ll get ready for bed without fussing because they enjoy snuggling up with a book, not just because they’ll earn a sticker or a prize. Sticker charts should always be used with this in mind.

One way to build internal motivation is to change how you talk about success. Instead of saying, “I’m so proud of you – here’s a sticker!” try, “You must be so proud of yourself! Want to put a sticker on your chart?” This shifts the focus to their own sense of accomplishment rather than external rewards.

Praise the behavior separately from the sticker: “Wow, your room looks so clean! Does it feel nice to be in here?” instead of “Great job cleaning—here’s your sticker.”

Sticker charts can also be a way to visualize progress, not just a reward system. Think of them like a fitness tracker that helps measure steps toward a goal. You can admire the chart together as the stickers add up: “Look at how many stickers you’ve earned—how does that feel?”

For older kids, consider using tracking charts (or apps if they have a phone) without rewards, simply as a way to monitor and celebrate progress toward behavior goals. Over time, the focus will naturally shift from external motivation to personal achievement.

9.     Don’t forget the stickers!

Reward charts only work if parents consistently hand out the stickers. In one study, kids who felt the system wasn’t working pointed to a simple reason—their parents forgot. They mentioned that stickers weren’t given regularly, weren’t available when needed, or were completely forgotten.

To keep the system on track:

•  Make the chart visible. Hang it on the fridge or somewhere you’ll see it daily.
• Stock up on stickers. Keep plenty on hand so you’re never caught without them.
• Plan for on-the-go rewards. If you’re tracking behaviors outside the house, carry a few stickers to reinforce the behavior immediately.

Consistency is key—if you don’t remember to hand out stickers, your child won’t stay motivated to earn them! Sticker charts can be an amazing tool when used with encouragement, consistency, and clear expectations.