Is My Child Being Bullied?
I still remember the setting – 7th grade, at the bus stop after school. An 8th grader started calling me and my friend names over and over again. This went on for weeks. I don’t remember why, when, or how it ended, but decades later, I still remember how it hurt. At the time, I wouldn’t have said that I was being bullied, but looking back, that’s exactly what the name-calling was.
According to the website StopBullying.gov, bullying is “unwanted, aggressive behavior that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time.”
To a child, it simply means being picked on again and again.
Bullying can take many forms and occur in different places. It may happen at school, on the bus, or online, such as on social media. Some examples of bullying are:
- Making threats
- Embarrassing someone in front of other people
- Hitting, pushing, or kicking
- Taking someone’s things
- Teasing or name-calling
Cyberbullying is a form of bullying that takes place online–in gaming rooms, on social media, or with direct messaging. Cyberbullying can be harder to recognize since it’s happening on screens, rather than in person, where it might be seen or overheard.
Parents can help prevent cyberbullying by being aware of what their kids are doing online. Most social media platforms do have ways to report concerns of bullying–taking a screenshot of the concerning post can be helpful for kids or parents when making a report.
If you have concerns about bullying at school, please contact your child’s school administrators. Every state has laws regarding bullying and how the school should respond in these situations. Here is a link to helpful information on to how to talk to your child’s school about bullying concerns: Questions Answered – National Bullying Prevention Center (pacer.org)
Kids who are bullied show different signs including:
- Emotional symptoms, such as depression and anxiety
- Physical symptoms, such as abdominal pain or headaches
- School avoidance or lower school achievement
Kids who are viewed as “different” are more likely to be the targets of bullying. Children and teens identifying as LGBTQI+, who have underlying medical conditions, different body types, or those who may be of a racial/ethnic minority are unfortunately more likely to be targeted by their peers. Schools and parents can help create safe spaces by openly recognizing and celebrating diversity.
As a parent, you can help talk with your child about bullying. By having daily, open talks with your child of any age, they may be more likely to come to you with concerns if they witness bullying or are directly involved in it. Ask open-ended questions about their day, friends, school, and feelings. Encourage your kids to stand up for their friends and report to a teacher or adult if they see someone involved in bullying.
Resources For Parents:
Stopbullying.gov
Centers of Disease Control and Prevention
American Academy of Pediatrics
HealthyChildren.org: Bullying: It’s Not OK
Thriving Families
Featured Author
I joined the pediatrics team at Kaiser Permanente South Sacramento to help kids thrive. A professional interest of mine is to support breastfeeding families as an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC). During my medical training, I also pursued a degree in public health/health promotion - a field which applies to every patient visit in pediatrics. Yet, some of my most relevant experiences as a pediatrician has come from my two children, who have “trained” me first-hand on the challenges of parenthood and in finding the balance between evidence-based recommendations and reality to achieve optimal childhood growth and development. Dr. Frost's full biography can be found on My Doctor Online. Disclaimer: If you have an emergency medical condition, call 911 or go to the nearest hospital. An emergency medical condition is any of the following: (1) a medical condition that manifests itself by acute symptoms of sufficient severity (including severe pain) such that you could reasonably expect the absence of immediate medical attention to result in serious jeopardy to your health or body functions or organs; (2) active labor when there isn't enough time for safe transfer to a Plan hospital (or designated hospital) before delivery, or if transfer poses a threat to your (or your unborn child's) health and safety, or (3) a mental disorder that manifests itself by acute symptoms of sufficient severity such that either you are an immediate danger to yourself or others, or you are not immediately able to provide for, or use, food, shelter, or clothing, due to the mental disorder. This information is not intended to diagnose health problems or to take the place of specific medical advice or care you receive from your physician or other health care professional. If you have persistent health problems, or if you have additional questions, please consult with your doctor. If you have questions or need more information about your medication, please speak to your pharmacist. Kaiser Permanente does not endorse the medications or products mentioned. Any trade names listed are for easy identification only.