The job description for a parent should read something like this: \u201cWanted: One warm, caring, and endlessly patient teacher.\u201d<\/p>\n
After all, as parents we\u2019re responsible for teaching our children how to behave so they\u2019ll develop into respected, admired, and happy people who others enjoy being around. And all that teaching of toddlers? It sure takes patience!<\/p>\n
To succeed at this job, you must set limits to discipline your child. While the word discipline can have negative connotations, it actually comes from the Latin word for teaching! Children thrive when they know what\u2019s expected of them, and what the consequences are if they don\u2019t behave. Clear boundaries make them feel safe and encourages behavior that make them \u2013 and you \u2013 feel proud.<\/p>\n
Here are some ideas for teaching your young child to be well-behaved:<\/p>\n
For example, if your child throws a tantrum in the supermarket and you buy candy to appease them, they\u2019ve just learned that next time they can pitch a fit to get more candy!<\/p>\n
Try this: Before your next trip to the store, tell your child what you expect and what will happen if they don\u2019t listen. Consider setting up a trip when you don\u2019t really need to buy much. Explain you\u2019ll be quick and you expect them not to fuss. Say you won\u2019t be buying any candy, and if they make a fuss you\u2019ll leave the store.<\/p>\n
If they fuss for candy, immediately leave the store. Don\u2019t warn your child again or talk about the candy. Leave your cart where it is and walk out with your child, even if they yell louder. In a grocery store, you\u2019re surrounded by other parents and employees who\u2019ll understand exactly what you\u2019re going through! They\u2019ve been there or seen this before! Explain to your child in simple words that they didn\u2019t do what was expected this time, and you know they\u2019ll do better next time. Then try again soon to give your child a second chance to succeed \u2013 and when they do, praise how well they did. For that matter, tell everyone else too!<\/p>\n
Try to be consistent with your rules from day to day and between you and your partner.<\/p>\n
If you disagree with how your partner is handling a question of discipline, don\u2019t say this in front of your child \u2013 wait to talk about it in another room. For example, if your partner tells your child that it\u2019s time for bed and you pipe up with, \u201cJust let him finish playing this game,\u201d it may seem harmless but it teaches your child to manipulate the other parent when they want something.<\/p>\n
Your child believes what you say about them. Instead of calling your child \u201ca brat\u201d if they throw a tantrum \u2013 tell them you don\u2019t like how they\u2019re acting. Calling names teaches your child to do the same when frustrated \u2013 then they may head to school and call their buddy names! Also, the reverse is true. If your child is behaving the way you want, avoid saying they\u2019re a \u201cgood boy or girl.\u201d Instead tell them what they did well.<\/p>\n
Hitting or spanking teaches your child to use physical means to solve problems. It sends a message that violence is okay. If you\u2019re feeling angry or stressed, take a break for some deep breaths or fresh air; you can tell your child you both need a time-out<\/a>! Then talk about what they\u2019ve done wrong and how they can do better next time.<\/p>\n If you can understand what your child is feeling, you can often understand why they\u2019re misbehaving and help them avoid future problems. Maybe they\u2019re fussing because they\u2019re hungry, tired, or need your attention after a busy day.<\/p>\n Teaching a child to be well-behaved certainly isn\u2019t easy! It\u2019s a slow process that requires lots of patience \u2013 both with your child and yourself!<\/p>\nGet into their head.<\/h3>\n
Resources for Parents:<\/h3>\n