{"id":888,"date":"2023-07-26T06:00:08","date_gmt":"2023-07-26T13:00:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kpthrivingfamilies.org\/pediatricsblog\/?p=888"},"modified":"2023-08-23T12:23:20","modified_gmt":"2023-08-23T19:23:20","slug":"best-parenting-advice-ive-ever-heard","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kpthrivingfamilies.org\/pediatricsblog\/best-parenting-advice-ive-ever-heard\/","title":{"rendered":"The Best Parenting Advice I\u2019ve Ever Heard"},"content":{"rendered":"

I recently had the privilege of spending a morning with a group of pediatricians and pediatric health educators. Most of us had never met. As an icebreaker, our moderator asked us to introduce ourselves and answer a few questions, including one about parenting advice.<\/p>\n

\n

I\u2019m Kate Land, a pediatrician who has worked for Kaiser Permanente for 17 years. I have 3 kids and the best piece of parenting advice I have ever heard is\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

As I listened to the others at the meeting, I realized their answers formed a collection of wisdom that any parent should have in their\u00a0tool kit. Here\u2019s what we shared:<\/p>\n\n

Top parenting tips<\/h2>\n\n

Know that a child is not\u00a0\u201cbad\u201d or\u00a0\u201cgood.\u201d<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Their actions may be. When you need to discipline or find an opportunity to praise, be sure to comment on the actions \u2013 not your child as a whole! Try saying, \u201cIt\u2019s not okay to hit!\u201d rather than \u201cStop being such a bad boy!\u201d Or, \u201cIt was so kind when you shared the truck with Isabelle,\u201d rather than \u201cYou\u2019re such a good girl!\u201d<\/p>\n

Start by asking a question.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

When responding to their questions<\/a> or talking with them about a difficult subject, start by asking: \u201cWhat do you<\/em> think?\u201d I really like this piece of advice \u2013 our kids are smart and often able to solve their own problems! Asking a question first allows you to be sure you\u2019re answering what they really want to know.<\/p>\n

Listen more than you talk.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

After you ask, sit back and listen. This also applies to carpools \u2013 when you drive, turn the radio volume up and the sound to the speakers in the back of the car. The kids will have to practically yell when talking to each other! Then just sit back and be a fly on the wall.<\/p>\n

Understand each child is different.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Be open to learning new ways to parent with each one. Boy oh boy \u2013 this could not have been truer for me! Each of my 3 needed a very different approach to discipline \u2013 I had to learn on the job each time.<\/p>\n

Trust yourself. <\/strong><\/h3>\n

You know your child best.<\/strong> Advice is just advice \u2013 and you\u2019ll hear a lot of it! Take what works for your family and leave the rest.<\/p>\n

Remember how young they are.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

It can be frustrating when kids dawdle and get distracted. It can drive us nuts that they still have accidents or can\u2019t tie their shoes! But try to remember that so much of this big beautiful world is new to them. And they\u2019re seeing it and learning how to walk through it for the first time. So things that seem mundane to us may be really interesting or really hard for them.<\/p>\n

Remember that \u2013 whatever it is \u2013 this too shall pass.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

If you\u2019re facing challenges \u2013 a baby who won\u2019t sleep or a child who isn\u2019t potty trained for preschool \u2013 they\u2019ll soon master this new skill and you\u2019ll be on to the next challenge. And perhaps more importantly, if you\u2019re enjoying good times, treasure them because those kids never stop growing up.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t be a slave to your kids.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

If they don\u2019t like dinner, don\u2019t make them something else. Teach them how to wash laundry and how to cook the basics.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t sweat the details.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

We have collectively, been successfully raising children for millennia. So when you hear the latest trends in parenting, try to take them with a grain of salt. Baby-led weaning<\/a>?\u00a0Third-child parenting? Whatever techniques you choose, it\u2019s likely that, if you trust your good instincts, they\u2019ll lead to success and your child will be fine.<\/p>\n

Pick your battles.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Don\u2019t let the first word out of your mouth be no. Sometimes kids need to try things and then learn their own lessons.<\/p>\n

Put on your own oxygen mask first.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Sleep, eat well, exercise often. Find a babysitter you trust so you can connect with your friends and your partner away from the kids. However you do it, take care of yourself because only then can you be the parent your kids deserve.<\/p>\n

And my answer?<\/p>\n

You don\u2019t need to wear a cape.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

And they don\u2019t need you to either. As a parent, I\u2019m not much of a yeller. There\u2019ve been a few times though, when I\u2019ve lost my cool \u2013 and always immediately felt awful for doing so. After each time, my best friend has stepped in with some wisdom and told me to have some self-compassion. She figures it\u2019s okay, maybe even good, for a kid to see they\u2019ve pushed your limits. Maybe they\u2019ll understand their actions are simply not okay? And that it\u2019s okay for you to not be perfect \u2013 no parent is. My kids don\u2019t need me to be a superhero \u2013 they just need me to be their mom.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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