If you\u2019ve ever struggled to get your child\u2019s attention away from a screen\u2014or felt uneasy about how much time they\u2019re spending online\u2014you\u2019re not alone. \u00a0As parents, we\u2019re all navigating the unknown, trying to raise healthy, happy kids in a world that\u2019s increasingly digital. You might find yourself asking:<\/p>\n
How much screen time is too much? When is my child ready for a phone? What\u2019s the real impact of social media? How do I control my kids\u2019 digital exposure and keep them safe?<\/em><\/p>\n I talked with my colleague Dr. Suzanne Shimoyama<\/a>, a child psychiatrist, to find out what the latest research is telling us.<\/p>\n The numbers might surprise you. According to the nonprofit Common Sense Media<\/a>, which focuses on kids’ safety and well-being in the digital era, as of 2021:<\/p>\n Ages 0\u20138<\/strong><\/a>:<\/p>\n Tweens (8\u201312)<\/strong>:<\/a><\/p>\n Teens (13\u201317)<\/strong>:<\/a><\/p>\n Because devices are so integrated into our daily lives, including at school, the American Academy of Pediatrics no longer recommends a specific time limit on screen time. Today, they encourage parents to consider these important factors<\/a> when determining if their child’s screen use needs to be reduced:<\/span><\/p>\n While some educational content is good,\u00a0too much screen time (especially social media)\u00a0is tied to real health problems for our kids. Too much digital time can lead to:<\/a><\/p>\n Poor sleep. <\/strong>Late-night scrolling disrupts melatonin production and keeps the brain wired. Many teens say they need their phones to fall asleep, but it\u2019s doing the opposite.<\/p>\n Mental health problems.<\/strong> More than 75% of teens use social media multiple times daily. High users are more likely to report sadness, hopelessness, and even suicidal thoughts. Our kids are facing an increasing mental health crisis that psychologist Jonathan Haidt, author of\u00a0The Anxious Generation<\/em>, suggests is due to two major changes in how kids grow up today:<\/p>\n Excessive screen and social media use is linked to:<\/a><\/p>\n Lower grades and school troubles. <\/strong>Multitasking on screens hurts focus and memory. How can they learn if they\u2019re watching TikTok while doing homework?\u00a0 Studies show kids exposed to fast-paced content perform worse academically.<\/p>\n Addictive behaviors. <\/strong>Apps like TikTok and Snapchat are designed to be addictive. They deliver constant dopamine \u201chits\u201d to our brains, making it harder for kids to stop scrolling.<\/p>\n For some, especially boys, video games can become a form of behavioral addiction. Internet Gaming Disorder<\/a>\u00a0has symptoms mirroring substance addiction: withdrawal, tolerance, lying about use, and impact on daily life. Brain scans of heavy gamers show changes in\u00a0\u201creward centers\u201d\u00a0similar to drug addiction.<\/p>\n Even though apps like Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat require users to be 13+, most platforms do not verify age\u2014and many parents help kids sign up early. These apps have problems:<\/p>\n Social media can seem fun, but it comes with some big risks<\/a> kids may not be ready for:<\/p>\n Wait until\u00a0high school\u00a0if possible. Consider a basic phone or a smartwatch that allows calls and texting but not access to social media.<\/p>\n Hold off until\u00a0at least age 16. This protects kids during the most vulnerable years for self-esteem, peer pressure, and risky online behaviors.<\/p>\n The American Academy of Pediatrics has a terrific tool to help families sit down as a family and decide:<\/p>\n Turn on safety features to block access to violent and explicit content. Ensure there\u2019s a password that kids can\u2019t guess to change these settings.<\/p>\n Use the \u201cScreen Time\u201d and \u201cDowntime\u201d features (on Apple products) or other similar family safety apps that limit your child\u2019s screen time and block access during certain hours (like after bedtime). You can also require that your child get your permission to install an app or use a web browser, for example, or limit access to certain apps to short periods.<\/p>\n Many families also \u201ccollect\u201d devices at the end of the day to be charged in a parent\u2019s room, so kids aren\u2019t tempted to try to use them when they should be asleep.<\/p>\n Dr. Shimoyama stressed that parents need to start early with clear boundaries. It\u2019s harder to set limits after your kids are in the habit of using their phones all day. \u201cStart when they\u2019re young\u2014before the phone feels like oxygen.\u201d<\/p>\n When your child first gets a device, let them know:<\/p>\n Use mistakes as\u00a0teachable moments, not times to enact punishments. As they mature, you can slowly increase trust and online independence.<\/p>\n If your child becomes secretive, withdrawn, or emotionally reactive to their phone, it\u2019s time to check in.<\/p>\n Put your own phone down, too. Kids notice more than we think.<\/p>\n Yes. A 2024 randomized trial showed\u00a0reducing screen time improved behavior\u00a0and boosted\u00a0positive social interactions\u00a0in kids.<\/p>\n Jonathan Haidt recommends that we can improve our kids\u2019 mental health if we make a few changes:<\/p>\n These may seem like big steps, but they’re worth taking seriously. And, if you\u2019re a parent who\u2019s already given your child a phone or tablet, don\u2019t panic. It\u2019s never too late to set new boundaries, open conversations, and model healthy habits. This isn\u2019t about perfection; it\u2019s about\u00a0staying engaged and aware. Communicating openly and setting clear, loving limits are the best tools we have.<\/p>\n The 2025 Common Sense Census: Media Use by Kids Zero to Eight<\/p>\n App and Games Reviews and Ratings Parents Trust<\/a><\/p>\n Media Resources<\/a><\/p>\n Facts for Families\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\nHow much screen time do kids get now?<\/h2>\n
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How much screentime should kids be allowed?<\/h2>\n
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Why should parents pay attention to how much time their kids are online?<\/h2>\n
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How does social media affect our kids?<\/h2>\n
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What can parents do to keep their kids safe on screens?<\/h2>\n
1.\u00a0Delay the smartphone<\/strong><\/h3>\n
2.\u00a0Delay social media<\/strong><\/h3>\n
3.\u00a0Create a Family Media Plan<\/a><\/strong><\/h3>\n
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4. Set up safety protections on the device<\/strong><\/h3>\n
5.\u00a0Set expectations early<\/strong><\/h3>\n
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6. Watch for red flags<\/strong><\/h3>\n
7.\u00a0Model good behavior<\/strong><\/h3>\n
Can having less screen time actually change kids\u2019 behavior?<\/h2>\n
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Resources for Parents<\/h4>\n
Common Sense Media<\/h4>\n
American Academy of Pediatrics<\/h4>\n
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry<\/h4>\n
Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force Program<\/h4>\n