{"id":4411,"date":"2024-03-21T17:05:34","date_gmt":"2024-03-22T00:05:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kpthrivingfamilies.org\/pediatricsblog\/?p=4411"},"modified":"2024-11-22T13:09:22","modified_gmt":"2024-11-22T21:09:22","slug":"toilet-training-fears","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kpthrivingfamilies.org\/pediatricsblog\/toilet-training-fears\/","title":{"rendered":"Why is My Child Resisting Toilet Training?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Many toddlers are resistant to potty training – and understanding why will make it easier for you to help them learn. Often, they\u2019re just focused on playing and don\u2019t want to stop to use the \u201cbig kid potty.\u201d But sometimes, kids are afraid of using it. Their fears may not be obvious or make sense to you, but they\u2019re very real to your child. Some kids are afraid of falling in the potty, or that pooping in the toilet might hurt. Others are scared of the loud noise of flushing or find the idea of flushing unsettling.<\/p>\n

There are some easy steps to help a child who is scared of using the potty.<\/h3>\n

The first step to help your child get past the resistance is to understand why they\u2019re having difficulty. Start by asking how they feel about potty training<\/a>. They may have a lot to say! If not, try playing with stuffed animals and role-play going to the potty. While you do this, have your animal talk about things they\u2019re worried about – and see what your child says or does.<\/p>\n

My middle child started showing signs that she was ready to toilet train early at about 20 months. Things went well for months, and I thought we were in the home stretch. Then she started refusing to sit on the toilet. One day, I asked why she wouldn’t use the toilet anymore. She said, “Too loud!” Turns out she was remembering a time when she was in a public restroom and was startled by the automatic flush. I couldn’t blame her for being scared after that!<\/p>\n

Some common potty training fears include:<\/h3>\n

Fear of Falling In
\n<\/strong>Toddlers are little, and toilets are pretty big – it isn’t unreasonable for them to be scared to sit on them. You can start by having your child use a small training potty at first. Trying having them choose one they like and decorate it with stickers and their name. When they’re used to this, you can switch to placing a child-size toilet seat ring on top of the toilet to make the opening smaller. Be patient and reassure your child that they won’t fall in or get hurt.<\/p>\n

Fear of the Flush
\n<\/strong>When you’re small enough to be right at toilet height, the flushing action can be pretty scary (especially those automatic ones that sneak up on a kid and flush when they aren’t expecting it!) Helping with this also comes down to reassurance and warning. Let them know when a flush will happen – or let them control the flush and say bye-bye to their poop and pee.<\/p>\n

Fear of Painful Poop
\n<\/strong>This usually happens after a child has had large, hard, and painful stools. These will often cause slight tearing or trauma at the anus. With every subsequent stool, the tear can get reopened a bit – and hurt all over again. To help this common problem, you need to make sure your child has very soft stools for a while so they can learn that pooping doesn’t have to hurt. Follow their doctor\u2019s advice for treating constipation and consider using a stool softener.<\/p>\n

Fear of \u201cLosing\u201d the Poop
\n<\/strong>This one may sound surprising, but it’s common for young children to view poop as part of their body, which can make them feel confused or upset by flushing it away. To help, you can explain that the poop is just what\u2019s left of the food they ate, and that their body is done with it. Reassure them that it’s not part of their body anymore and it\u2019s okay to let it go away.<\/p>\n

Some kiddos aren’t worried or afraid \u2013 they\u2019re just distracted, uninterested, or having fun elsewhere. These kids may need lots of reminders to get to the toilet in time. If they have an accident and won’t admit their diaper needs to be changed, don’t ask, “Did you poop?” And don’t scold. Instead, say, “It’s time to change your diaper. Next time, I know you’ll try to go on your potty!”<\/p>\n

Other causes of toilet training resistance are:<\/h3>\n