My colleagues and I have seen an increase in the number of anxious children coming through our doors this past year. These kids have faced stress from the effects of COVID-19 on their families, friends, school routines, and social activities. They\u2019ve heard news coverage of traumatic events such as wildfires, elections, and racial injustice. Their anxiety is understandable.<\/p>\n
Stress can cause kids to have physical symptoms. I\u2019ve seen this at times in my own family. When my daughter was in high school and preparing for finals, she would have trouble falling asleep, become moody or irritable, complain of stomach aches, and sometimes have trouble focusing.<\/p>\n
Her symptoms were caused by anxiety. But what is<\/em> anxiety? It\u2019s our body\u2019s natural response to stress or danger. It keeps watch so we can avoid harm, and helps us get ready for action if danger is detected.<\/p>\n However sometimes, anxiety can backfire by giving us a \u201cfalse alarm.\u201d We can experience symptoms about things that aren\u2019t actually physically dangerous.<\/p>\n There are things parents can do to help a child manage anxiety:<\/p>\n Let them know that everyone feels anxious at times \u2013 it\u2019s part of being human. Share times when you\u2019ve felt this way, such as before a job interview. Talk about the symptoms you experienced. This can help kids understand that even though anxiety can make us feel bad, it can\u2019t hurt us. So, we can work on not letting it control us.<\/p>\n When my son is stressed, he likes to go for bike rides and cook with me. Continuing normal family activities even during periods of stress helps prevent anxiety from disrupting our children\u2019s lives too much. This has been challenging while living through a pandemic! But, sticking to a schedule and continuing to celebrate birthdays, holidays, and your children\u2019s achievements will help calm your kids and get them through challenging times.<\/p>\n Reflect what you see. For example, if your child starts to cry say, \u201cIt seems like you\u2019re getting teary. Are you feeling sad?\u201d When my son was younger, we used charts with pictures of different emotions to help him convey his feelings. This helped him feel calmer, better understand his emotions, and have more control of his reactions as he got older.<\/p>\n Validation helps our children know their feelings are okay and make sense in a particular situation. If they\u2019re worried about entering a crowded store you could say, \u201cI see you\u2019re stressed about going into the store. I\u2019ve felt that way before too. What is it that\u2019s bothering you right now? Can you tell me why?\u201d<\/p>\n In addition, checking the facts on those \u201cworry thoughts\u201d can help them get grounded in what\u2019s true. Some worries might be based on facts, and you can validate their feelings. Others may be exaggerated or based on false information, and you can help kids see that.<\/p>\n At a recent well-child visit, one of my patients came dressed as a superhero, complete with a cape and helmet. I loved the way his mom helped him channel his brave, superhero self. Giving him his vaccines was a breeze!<\/p>\n Don\u2019t just avoid activities or places that worry your children. Help them face those challenges. One patient was scared to come to the doctor, so his parents drove by the office a few times, then parked and walked around, and visited me to say, \u201cHi!\u201d a few times as well. Once it was time for his visit, he was much more prepared.<\/p>\n My neighbor\u2019s daughter overcame her fears by practicing petting a stuffed animal till she was ready to pet the pooches in our neighborhood. Snuggles with a parent or a favorite stuffed toy, deep breaths, and meditation during this preparation phase, plus a reward at the end, can help lots!<\/p>\n Reach out for help<\/strong><\/p>\n Connect with your pediatrician to ask about counseling services if anxiety seems to affect your child\u2019s activities too much.<\/p>\n For extra help at home, try the Calm app<\/a> \u2013 it\u2019s free for all Kaiser members and has meditations you can practice with your child.<\/p>\n This post was written by Padmaja Padalkar, M.D.<\/a><\/p>\n Stress<\/a><\/p>\n Helping Your Teen Manage Stress<\/a><\/p>\n Anxiety in Teens is Rising: What’s Going On?<\/a><\/p>\n Understanding Childhood Fears and Anxieties<\/a><\/p>\n Breaking Free of Child Anxiety and OCD: A Scientifically Proven Program for Parents<\/u> by Eli Lebowitz<\/p>\n The Anxiety Workbook for Teens<\/u> by Lisa Schab<\/p>\n What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid\u2019s Guide to Overcoming Anxiety<\/u> by Dawn Huebner<\/p>\n\n
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Resources for Parents<\/h3>\n
My Doctor Online<\/h4>\n
The American Academy of Pediatrics<\/h4>\n
Books<\/h4>\n
Other Resources<\/h4>\n