The hardest thing I\u2019ve ever done? Not medical school or residency. Not parenting three teens. Hands down, the hardest was being a new mother with a colicky baby. It was beautiful to watch my young son grow, but every time he cried and couldn\u2019t be consoled it brought me to my knees. What was wrong? Why couldn\u2019t I help him?<\/p>\n
It can be a rough first few months getting used to having a new baby and the lack of sleep, job changes, and financial challenges that can come along with them. And part of what makes it so rough is all the crying most new babies do. The American Academy of Pediatrics<\/a> states that<\/p>\n \u201c<\/em>In the first six weeks of life, babies cry an average of 2-3 hours a day. Most babies start crying a lot when they are around two weeks old and continue for about two months.<\/em>\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n And the people who love those new babies can find it very hard to cope. Once, I was home alone with my firstborn while his father was off on a fishing trip with his four brothers. I was nervous to be alone with the baby but wanted his dad to have the time away, because he\u2019d shared the many long nights of trying to help our son.<\/p>\n Everything went well for a while. But then on the third evening, our son just wouldn\u2019t stop crying – and I was at my wits\u2019 end. All I could think of doing was to put him in his crib, walk outside, sit down, and breathe.<\/p>\n Recently I connected with Dr. Tricia Tayama M.D.<\/a>, a Kaiser Permanente pediatrician and child abuse prevention specialist, to understand more about infant crying and its effect on caregivers. First, she explained that babies\u2019 cries naturally evoke very strong responses from adults that can look different in different people. Some may feel anger, guilt, sadness, embarrassment, or shame. Parents can feel:<\/p>\n Adults may attribute meaning to the babies\u2019 cries\u2014the baby is mad at me, trying to disrupt me, or trying to upset me.\u00a0It\u2019s understandable to just want the crying to stop! But how?<\/p>\n First of all, please start by checking with your pediatrician to look for medical causes of crying. Even colic<\/a> is something we can often help with.<\/p>\n Sometimes your baby may cry for no reason and be hard to console, even if they aren\u2019t hungry or needing a diaper change. This doesn\u2019t necessarily mean anything is wrong with them \u2013 sometimes, babies just cry!<\/p>\n But all that crying can be hard on you!<\/em> Dr. Tayama and her colleague Katya Henriquez, LMFT<\/a>, shared a calming technique that may help:<\/p>\n Set your baby down in a crib or bassinet for a moment and count your heart rate. Then do one of these activities for a few moments until your heart rate decreases:<\/p>\n You can also:<\/p>\n It\u2019s ok to put your baby in a safe place like their crib or bassinet for a while so you can care for yourself. Then, when you are feeling a bit calmer, stronger, and centered, return to trying to soothe your baby.<\/p>\n Or, if you don\u2019t feel calmer and need support, please reach out to your partner, a friend, parent, or neighbor for help. Whatever happens – don\u2019t shake your baby. <\/strong>Shaking can cause serious injury or death.<\/p>\n Before the next crying episode starts:<\/p>\n KP Thriving Families<\/p>\n Surviving Colic. Is it Gas, Pain, or Something Else?<\/a><\/p>\n How to Calm a Crying Baby<\/a><\/p>\n My Doctor Online The American Academy of Parents The National Center on Shaken Baby Syndrome<\/p>\n\n
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Resources for Parents<\/h3>\n
\nColic<\/a>
\nCrying or Colic?<\/a><\/p>\n
\nHow to Calm a Fussy Baby: Tips for Parents & Caregivers<\/a><\/p>\n