{"id":2170,"date":"2023-04-17T16:00:16","date_gmt":"2023-04-17T23:00:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kpthrivingfamilies.org\/pediatricsblog\/?p=2170"},"modified":"2025-08-20T15:21:22","modified_gmt":"2025-08-20T22:21:22","slug":"8-steps-to-an-effective-time-out-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kpthrivingfamilies.org\/pediatricsblog\/8-steps-to-an-effective-time-out-2\/","title":{"rendered":"8 Steps to an Effective Time-Out"},"content":{"rendered":"

Let\u2019s face it, young kids misbehave at times. Starting from an early age, they test their limits and ours. To deal with this, most parents (about 85% of us) have tried to use time-out as a discipline method.<\/p>\n

I know I have! But time-out doesn\u2019t always work and may not be appropriate for all children including those with emotional, physical, or developmental challenges. For many, though, it fails because it\u2019s not done correctly.<\/p>\n

Learning to do time-out well can help both you and your child. And it can prevent you from resorting to harsher forms of discipline.<\/p>\n

Time-out is actually an old technique first discussed about 100 years ago and in widespread use starting in the 1970s. Since then, we\u2019ve studied what works well and what doesn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s what we know about a successful time-out:<\/h3>\n
    \n
  1. Use one warning only.<\/strong> Time-out works best if there’s very little time between the bad behavior and the time-out. Give just one brief, clear warning: \u201cIf you don\u2019t stop kicking the chair you\u2019ll go to time-out.\u201d Giving more than one warning will be much less effective!<\/li>\n
  2. Give a simple explanation.<\/strong> Let\u2019s say you gave your one warning and are marching the offender off to time-out. This is not the time for a discussion or a lot of talking. You know how the teacher in the Peanuts<\/em> cartoons sounds? \u201cWah wah wah wah wah.\u201d That\u2019s what kids hear when we talk too much. Keep it simple: \u201cYou hit your brother. Hitting hurts and is not okay. Time out.\u201d<\/li>\n
  3. Make it boring and safe.<\/strong> If your child is having fun in time-out it won\u2019t work, right? So there should be nothing to do. No toys. Not much to look at. No attention from anyone (no reassuring waves, smiles). Definitely no electronics. Avoid using a bedroom \u2013 that should be kept a happy place! In my house time-out was held in the hallway with all the doors shut but the lights on. The misbehaving child would sit at the end of the hallway until it was over.<\/li>\n
  4. End it when they\u2019re calm.<\/strong> Time-out is not over when the child feels they\u2019re ready to leave, it\u2019s over when you say it is! It\u2019s much more effective for a grown-up to decide when the time-out is over and to require the child to be calm and quiet before release.<\/li>\n
  5. Choose a time limit that lasts about a minute per year of age.<\/strong> You mean my 16-year-old has to sit for 16 minutes, right? Well, no. Time-outs are less effective after age 7. Also, very short time-outs or very long ones don\u2019t work well. Try for a match between the time and your child\u2019s age; a 4-year-old will usually respond well to time-outs that are about 4 minutes long.<\/li>\n
  6. Hold them in place if need be.<\/strong> I have 3 kids. One really responded well to time-outs. She put herself in time-out when she realized she had done something wrong! And another? Well, he wasn\u2019t a fan. I\u2019d sometimes have to sit holding him (his back to my tummy with my arms wrapped around him) to get him to stay in place. I didn\u2019t talk to him but I did wait until he was calm.<\/li>\n
  7. Talk when it\u2019s over.<\/strong> After you release your child from jail \u2013 oops, I mean time-out \u2013 you need to talk about the behavior that got them there in the first place. Also, if they were in time-out because they didn\u2019t do something you asked them to do \u2013 they need to do it now. For example, if you\u2019d asked them to clear their plate from the table, they need to be told again to do it. \u201cRemember, you had a time-out because you didn\u2019t clear your plate. Now please go clear it.\u201d<\/li>\n
  8. Make \u201ctime<\/strong> in\u201d<\/em><\/strong> be in a good place.<\/strong> Bring your child back to \u201ctime in\u201d where there\u2019s lots of affection and interesting activities. Without this contrast, time-outs will be less effective. If time-out is a calm break from a chaotic and unhappy place \u2013 kids will be happy to stay there.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Simply put, the point of time-out is to remove a child from an environment they enjoy. Your kids enjoy being with you most of all. They love to play and interact with their family and friends. So they\u2019ll learn quickly if, after a brief warning, they have to leave where they really enjoy to sit alone and think things over.<\/p>\n

    If these steps don\u2019t help and you\u2019re concerned about your child\u2019s behavior, please let your pediatrician know. We\u2019ll work with you to find ways to help them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Let\u2019s face it, young kids misbehave at times. Starting from an early age they test their limits and ours. To deal with this, most parents (about 85% of us) have tried to use time-out as a discipline method.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":557,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[454,674],"tags":[238,207,119,377,61,209,417,717],"class_list":["post-2170","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-behavior","category-parenting","tag-child-discipline","tag-discipline","tag-effective-discipline","tag-how-to-use-a-time-out","tag-parenting","tag-positive-parenting","tag-time-out","tag-timeout","ages-grade-school","ages-preschool","ages-toddler"],"metadata":{"_edit_lock":["1755728344:8"],"_edit_last":["8"],"slide_template":[""],"video_format_choose":["youtube"],"_custom_body_class":[""],"_yoast_wpseo_content_score":["90"],"qode_animate-page-title":["no"],"qode_show-page-title-text":["no"],"qode_show-page-title-image":["no"],"qode_show-sidebar":["default"],"qode_hide-featured-image":["no"],"_yoast_wpseo_primary_category":["454"],"_yoast_wpseo_primary_ages":["290"],"_thumbnail_id":["557"],"wpfp_favorites":["4"],"ase_chapter_enable_timeline":["off"],"_wpb_vc_js_status":["false"],"_yoast_wpseo_estimated-reading-time-minutes":["4"],"_yoast_wpseo_wordproof_timestamp":[""],"_yoast_indexnow_last_ping":["1755728483"],"cmplz_hide_cookiebanner":[""],"_yoast_wpseo_focuskeywords":[""],"_yoast_wpseo_keywordsynonyms":[""],"ase_map_component_start_point":["a:2:{s:3:\"lat\";d:29.76;s:3:\"lng\";d:-95.38;}"],"ase_mapbox_style":["openstreet"]},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kpthrivingfamilies.org\/pediatricsblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2170","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kpthrivingfamilies.org\/pediatricsblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kpthrivingfamilies.org\/pediatricsblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kpthrivingfamilies.org\/pediatricsblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kpthrivingfamilies.org\/pediatricsblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2170"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/kpthrivingfamilies.org\/pediatricsblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2170\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4071,"href":"https:\/\/kpthrivingfamilies.org\/pediatricsblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2170\/revisions\/4071"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kpthrivingfamilies.org\/pediatricsblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/557"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kpthrivingfamilies.org\/pediatricsblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2170"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kpthrivingfamilies.org\/pediatricsblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2170"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kpthrivingfamilies.org\/pediatricsblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2170"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}