\u201cDon\u2019t touch that!\u201d
\n\u201cStop yelling!\u201d
\n\u201cBe nice to your little brother!\u201d<\/p>\n
Sometimes as parents we may feel as if the day is filled with\u00a0disciplining our children<\/a>.\u00a0<\/span>It\u2019s exhausting and defeating for both you and your children.\u00a0While this is\u00a0necessary in parenting, it can be done in a way that feels better for everyone. This is part of what we call \u201cpositive parenting.\u201d<\/p>\n Whether praising or redirecting your\u00a0child’s behavior, try to comment on their actions rather than saying that they themselves are \u201cgood\u201d or \u201cbad.\u201d For example, saying: \u201cThank you for picking up your toys \u2013 that really helps me!\u201d encourages a child to learn what they did right instead of hearing a simple, \u201cGood girl!\u201d Or tell your child what you want them to do rather than telling them what they\u2019re doing wrong:\u00a0So instead of saying, \u201cStop yelling!\u201d try, \u201cWe\u2019re indoors \u2013 use your inside voice.\u201d<\/p>\n Just\u00a0saying that your child was or is \u201cbad\u201d can also create deep feelings of shame without giving them an ability to learn from a mistake. Instead, say what\u00a0action displeased you, such as, \u201cI didn\u2019t like it when you poured out the paint \u2013 it\u00a0made a mess and wasted paint!\u201d Or, \u201cBiting hurts! Don\u2019t bite.\u201d\u00a0You can say, \u201cLying is wrong,\u201d rather than, \u201cYou\u2019re a liar.\u201d Speaking this way can reassure children that you still love them, but you don\u2019t like what they did. It helps them understand\u00a0they\u2019re not\u00a0bad, their actions were\u00a0\u201cbad.\u201d<\/p>\n Finally, there\u2019s this advice I was taught with my own kids: for every negative thing you\u00a0have to say to your child try to find 10 positive things to also say to them through\u00a0the day.<\/p>\n To do this, you may have to work hard to \u201ccatch\u201d them being \u201cgood.\u201d Try to notice even small actions you approve of and want to encourage, such as:<\/p>\n You can then tell others what your child did that worked well: \u201cI\u2019m so proud of\u00a0Carolina \u2013 she was so quiet and calm at the doctor\u2019s office. She got an extra sticker!\u201d<\/p>\n Raising kids is exhausting. But putting the energy into finding positive messages throughout the day will pay off with happy, well-behaved kids!<\/p>\n Find more resources for parents:\n
\nMy Doctor Online:
\nPositive Parenting<\/a><\/p>\n